Republicans Quietly Rejoice in Unexpected Resurfacing

GOP U-S Representative Tom Cole might have stirred up Democrats by saying a vote against the re-election of President Bush is like supporting Adolph Hitler during World War Two. Or supporting Osama bin Laden now. "If George Bush loses the election, Osama bin Laden wins the election," Cole is quoted in this week's edition of the Yukon Review which covered the recent meeting of the Canadinan County Republicans where Cole was a speaker. President Bush's campaign paid for the satellite hook-up.

 
Elated GOP insiders were quoted as saying, "We've always suspected a terrorist link would appear to all that strongly oppose us or intend to. So we've even had the FBI and CIA watching the Dems, who never were a real opposition anyway. Terrorists and the Kerry campaign - We just can't believe our 'luck'!"

That's right! Osama's back and doing a great job!

Knowing that Afghan Pipeline oil has to get to us somehow, OBL has provided an explosive reason for the US to colonize said shipping routes and production areas. We have already hire a whole division of Indonesia's military to defend our oil interests amidst domestic seperatist 'terrorism' that we also finance as cover for the abuse of indigenous populations. Weird stuff, but it has worked so far, but it's a lot more expensive to pay both sides of a war than to profit from one you can't lose that's financed by the stupid Americans that actually have to pay income tax!

We at AOE say: "Welcome Back OBL! With out you we wouldn't win the Congress or be able to conduct a whole new massive Oil grab!"

Join the new Americans!!