Victory Ride From Crawford Ranch to Migiddo, Israel (pictured below)
ill. - ' Prime Minister, President, Chairman, Prince ' As usual something great has come out of Bush's simplified view of the world as a place for pure good and pure evil to duke it out. It came to him while he was playing golf with 35 Princes of Saudi Arabia, the King of Jordan and a few other MidEast business leaders. W's drive kept slicing badly. Everytime he drove, the ball would fly way off course and he'd have to call a do-over and hold up the progress of the Arabs. But it just went on and on like that. After several hours on the first tee, the impatient Arabs began getting a bit vocal and agitated. But Bush just kept whacking away, each time promising the next one would go straight up the middle. He just kept driving and missing and replacing the ball. He even allowed a bunch of Isaelis to play through. If one of the Arabs spoke up about 'The Rules', W'd yell "Fundamentalist!" and brain one randomly with a golf club, hand the others cash, smirk and return to his hacking. But something finaly snapped in the President. Why can't they just wait their turn? It was time to END THINGS HERE AND NOW.
Back in Israel and the Palestinian pre-Bantustan Territories, with each side properly whipped into a frenzied dream of drinking the blood of the others' blind and lame, Bush's solution fell on welcoming ears: Let's hold an Emergency Summit at my ranch and call it an Armageddon! Officially declairing Armaggedon would trigger an automatic budget re-distribution (passed in the dark corners of the Patriot Act, the most Patriotic corners), releasing all American tax revenues for use in the CIA's black budget to combat 'Evil' in the case of Armageddon. President Bush could, in addition to the 'Wartime' and 'Radio Active Asteroid' powers he has accumulated since TAKING OFFICE, now add a total 'Moral Contrast' power to cast all shades of gray as pure black or white, something he's been dreaming of doing a lot more of lately. Of course everyone is on board for this one, and we mean everyone. So read your bibles people, especially the weird stuff towards the end, because that's life, such as it is, from now on. At least officially. |
