Wow! Are You Hung Over 9/11-style, Too? That was one hell of a party. While the media raked it in, merchandising the images and selling the mythology of 9/11, the real profiteers are at work behind the scenes, playing a high-stakes game of semiotics for the consciousness of the molified, fatted American populace. Go 'head wit yoselv playahs. Man it was GREAT ENTERTAINMENT, while the real deal is still going down in the Financial Markets and backrooms of Corporate Government. Why does the company that places those extra put options on American and United Airlines pre-9/11 also sponsor full page ads for art shows featuring firemen? Because they paid for him to steal the election, allow 9/11 ("LIHOP") and make them money on their deregulated energy/airline put/oil serviecs/metals/defense bets (no one else was putting their money there, for sure they got good deals). Remember all the calls to go into debt by buying on the margin in the '20s? The same people who encouraged the practice were buying gold like it was, well gold. Isn't that like the Irrational Exuberence of the tech sector? The 9/11 investment profiteers were snapping up the real deals while promoting the bubble, knowing full well that they would make tons of cash once it burst. To assure the profits are huge, Our Beloved President is pumping huge quantities of tax-payer money into these same investments, driving them up in value, either directly through 'bailouts' and breaks or directly via the Department of Defense. Seems like everyone who assisted/planned/executed the COUP are also cleaning up on investments that would indicate prior knowledge of the attacks. We here at AOE think wish we had thought of it first! Our hats off to our betters!

Guess What?? We're Totally High (Alert)!!

Smoke them out of their caves, so we can move on in If it weren't for the diligent efforts of the Administration, hoards of rabid curved-sword weilding jihadist devils would be absconding with your wife and/or children right now! Well, they haven't really DONE anything yet besides spend money on their friends (SCORE!), but sure are close to talking and threatening and secret arresting our way to safety, but you'll have to just trust them on the details, national security and all that. You can measure their success by the number of people's whose rights are violated. The American people have always said that they'd give up freedoms for safety. Who knew that Total Reduced Freedoms is actually the MEASURE OF SAFETY?! If it's time to have your rights violated, be sure to thank the government clerk they send for making you feel so much safer, OK? Solitary confinement is particularly safe. The Vice President doesn't have to keep a low profile? Back to the Bunker! Our poor Dick is hurting. Already barely held erect by pace makers and pumps, our 'shadow government' leader has trouble when exposed to light. He's just been threatened - again! (or had a scheduled press appearance that included media sources we don't own or haven't been able to payoff...) We at AOE say he shouldn't be disrespected by hiding in secret bunkers. We should lock him in a vault with all of our money so he can protect it more closely! Better yet, let's build a giant bunker for the rest of the world, so the Veep can roam freely in a safe albeit lonely place. Please see the chart at right for how to run your local Office of Homeland Security's Color-Coded Alert System.

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"Thanks and all your tax money to Unocal, Halliburton and the Carlyle Group!"
-HK

WOT Sound Bytes
• America Reacts to 911 • Condi Explains • Fox News Reporting • Unocal Statement • W on Regulation • Sealing the Border • Operation Daffy • Bombing Tora Bora • Hunt for Osama